At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
