Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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