I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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