woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
