I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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