the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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