the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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