And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
