I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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