i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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