i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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