you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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