she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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