I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
