weddingsv make me drug and hornr
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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