My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
