No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
