He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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