Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
