Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
