Don't make out with my wife yet
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize