they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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