Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
