I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
