Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
