I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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