His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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