I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize