where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma