so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we're so committed to being not committed
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