are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
