Nicole vs. Life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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