is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
