We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
