The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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