Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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