Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize