so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have already put on my inside pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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