Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
