the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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