ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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