Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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