he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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