It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
