Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
