I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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