I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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