I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
