i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
