Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She needs sedatives and a leash
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
