well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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