Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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