2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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