please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
