You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
