Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize