in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
