Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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