so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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