I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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